SERVICE DISCLAIMER
Service Disclaimer
MATCHMAKING vs DATING AGENCY vs SWINGERS vs POLYGAMY in Los Angeles.
This is our best possible attempt to keep you off our phone.
Matchmaking
Matchmakers introduce you to great people for upscale dating. You are at work, and you pay a salary to a matchmaker to interview candidates within your criteria to date you. You are introduced and see how it goes. Repeat.
Dating Agency Services
Dating agency services are different. Most people join the dating agency to receive profiles of people in the area of other paying customers. You can generally see them all and choose who you would like to meet independently. The criteria is in your hands and you introduce yourself.
Swingers
We can privately introduce you to your version of happiness in the criteria : swinger.
Matchmakers can introduce you to someone who believes like you do. It is not necessary to hire a matchmaker as you can introduce yourself by yourself. People looking for an open relationship from 18-Retiree in Los Angeles American English is called a swinger.
It is uncommon for a swinger to call a matchmaking agency as there are resorts, local clubs and events all over the globe.
Polygamy
We do not negotiate the sale of people or religious marriage contracts.
Malibu Matchmaking has a slogan that states, “Get a date, get engaged and get married at Malibu Matchmaking dot Com.” For 99.999% of everyone in greater Los Angeles, we all collectively understand that you will date someone before you marry them.
“We service greater Los Angeles from Santa Barbara to San Diego, Polygamy is not common in our area. If you want multiple wives and husbands, Great! But America is not the place for you. It is illegal in the United States to be an American version of Polygamist.”
Specific Examples: (God Help Us All)
– If we state on the phone, we can help your kid get married, we assume he is 38 and on your sofa.
– Malibu Match will match your 18+ child with upscale introductions if you purchase our service:
“I want you to introduce my daughter to the semi truck shop owner’s son”
NOT
“Ask the semi truck shop owner if I can purchase a son from his son for myself or for my daughter.”
– I am 28 with a PHD and have 3 moms? I don’t want to explain this over and over again? Can you help? Ok. Our services are $25k, we could definitely introduce you to multiple upscale dates that also have 3 moms/dads. I’m sure there are many people in LA available.
– I want my son as to date KJV Baptist/Mormon/JW. The men are so clean cut and conservative. Let’s facilitate some dates with kids (18+) in ties and dresses based on my religion. Approved. That’s acceptable. Age appropriate acceptable.
This is Los Fucking Angeles people. If an executive lives with 4 women that doesn’t mean you can too.
There are 2 types of Polygamists.
1. Hollywood Polygamists & Glamour Polygamist.
Scrolling through social media and daydreaming about having 3 women driving your gold-plated Lamborghini is not a reason to call Malibu Matchmaking. You are not Hollywood financiers. You are not their kids. You are not Hugh Hefner or an internationally recognized heiress. In most cases, you would already be that person starting in your teens.
2. Religious based Polygamists.
Traditionally in the continents of North America, South America and Europe polygamy is not publicly acceptable. Religion based polygamy that are common requests for our phone in Los Angeles include White Muslim, Arab Muslim, Israeli and Mormon/Mennonite/Separatists.
Servicing international millionaire matchmaking in 33% of the known world means we are comfortable with introducing you to women or men that live in your expat country – not get in my car.
Think Before You Call
I had to physically explain on the phone, “You would have to move. I would have to call their representative, you would buy your way in with substantial land, you would have service their members in a business environment, I would have to vouch for you, and then peacefully do what you want” WTF AM I TALKING ABOUT???
“I thought I could just pick from a book” WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???
“It is very much possible to purchase a wife or husband on the continents of Africa and Asia. It is the real world.” But… WE DON’T LIVE THERE!! …
“Can you call their matchmaker?..” WE DON’T LIVE THERE!!
“I can buy a wife right off of Craigslist…” But… WE DON’T LIVE THERE!! WE DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE FROM READING SHIT ON THE INTERNET.
Phone Boundaries
THIS IS FUCKING LA.. THIS IS FUCKING LOS ANGELES… You go on dates and lie to each other and then can’t sustain the lie… repeat… That’s why you hire a matchmaker. So you don’t have to lie. It doesn’t matter what language you speak, it is all the same. LOL.
- Do not call the dating agency after midnight.
- Do not call the dating agency if you are intoxicated.
- Do not call the dating agency to purchase a spouse.
- Do not call the dating agency while living with your current spouse.
- Do not call the dating agency to facilitate a Cheaters episode for your current spouse.
Malibu Match will verify marital status of clients and matches. That defines a transparent introduction. We do value your privacy at Malibu Matchmaking. Our service is industry leading, but Good God… Bless us all…
Date Ideas in Our Area
Green Day – 9/30 – Yaamava’ Theater
Marilyn Manson – 9/30 – House of Blues – Anaheim
Lucinda Williams – 9/30 – Troubadour, West Hollywood
John Moreland – 9/30 – The Wayfarer, Costa Mesa
Kevin Nealon – 9/30 – Hollywood Improv
John Fogerty – 10/01 – Yaamava’ Theater
Sister Hazel – 10/01 – Whisky a Go Go, West Hollywood
Rodney Crowell – 10/01 – Largo at the Coronet, Los Angeles
Al Green – 10/02 – Yaamava’ Theater
Joe Bonamassa, Richie Sambora, Laurence Juber, John Oates, and Ben Harper – 10/02 – Alex Theatre, Glendale
Josh Ritter – 10/02 – Masonic Lodge, Hollywood Forever Cemetery
Sister Hazel – 10/02 – The Coach House, San Juan Capistrano
Carlos Mencia – 10/02, 10/03, 10/04, 10/05 – Ontario Improv
Huck Finn Jubilee – 10/02 – Bonelli Bluffs RV Resort & Campground, San Dimas
Good Charlotte – 10/03 – The GRAMMY Museum, Los Angeles
L7, Lunachicks, and CSS – 10/03 – The Belasco, Los Angeles
Marshall Tucker Band – 10/03 – Cerritos Center
Wayne Newton – 10/03 – The Coach House, San Juan Capistrano
Michael Schenker – 10/03 – Saban Theatre, Beverly Hills
Dua Lipa – 10/04, 10/05, 10/07 – Kia Forum
Incubus – 10/04 – Intuit Dome
Al Green and The War and Treaty – 10/04 – YouTube Theate
The Temptations and Lighter Shade of Brown – 10/04 – Majestic Ventura Theater
Ben Schwartz – 10/04 – Orpheum Theatre, Los Angeles
Punk In The Park – 10/04 – Berth 46, Port of Los Angeles
Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, and Return to Dust – 10/06 – Toyota Arena, Ontario
Lionel Richie – 10/06 – Orpheum Theatre, Los Angeles
Southern California
1st Week of June 1st – 7th
Cowboy Palace Saloon
An Eddie Day Favorite, Ronald Reagan on the Wall – West End/Mc G’s/Canto VI/Hotel Star Bar a Good night Stop (Chatsworth Strip – Orange Line Starts 4AM (1 Hour Nap)) • Chatsworth, CA
Wednesday – Sundays • 6-7 PM
Downtown – Cole’s French Dip – Lamb or Goat Cheese
Koreatown – The Prince – Cocktails
Koreatown – Wi Korean BBQ – All You Can Eat
The Valley – Yagumo Sushi – Scallop Cone
Glendale – Porto’s – Box of Stuffed Potatoe Balls
Hermosa Beach – Brother’s Burritos – Breakfast
Santa Ana – Trieu Chau – #110 House Special Mix Noodle Soup CASH
#110 Hu Tieu Mi Thap Cam Bo
Westminster – Jolly Feet – $10 Hour Foot Massage
Westminster – Phởholic – Pho
Everywhere – Alberto’s – California Breakfast Burrito with Sour Cream (has french fries in it)
Everywhere – Capriotti’s – The Bobbie Thanksgiving Day Sub Hot or Cold
Everywhere – Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles – 2# Scoe’s 1/4 GRAVY ON THE SIDE with Waffle
Find Your City
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Southern California Matchmaking
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